Adult-Only Destination Weddings: How to Set Boundaries with Grace

The idea of gathering your favorite people in paradise to celebrate your love is
magical—but the guest list? That can get complicated. Who pays for what? Is it okay to
go adults-only? What about inviting coworkers or distant relatives? If you’re unsure
how to approach your destination wedding invitations, this guide will help you create a
thoughtful and intentional guest list—and provide scripts to handle it with kindness.

Crafting Your Destination Wedding Guest List with Clarity and Kindness

Start with Your Vision

Before you even start listing names, take a moment to define your dream destination
wedding vibe. Are you envisioning an intimate beach ceremony with just your
immediate families and closest friends? Or a larger celebration where you rent out a
resort for the weekend?

Your vision sets the tone—and the size—for your guest list. Since destination
weddings often have natural built-in limitations due to travel, cost, and logistics,
most couples opt for smaller, more intimate gatherings. And that’s okay. It’s part of
the charm.

Who Should You Invite?

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Here’s a helpful breakdown of who typically makes the guest list:

● Immediate family: parents, siblings, grandparents.
● Your ride-or-die friends: the ones who’ve been with you through every
relationship, high and low.
● Close extended family: think of a favorite aunt or cousin you speak to
regularly.
● Anyone you truly want there: not those you feel obligated to invite.

Here’s the best part: You’re not required to invite coworkers, second cousins you
haven’t seen in years, or your mom’s best friend’s daughter. A destination wedding
gives you the built-in boundary of intimacy, and it’s totally acceptable to lean into
that.

Who Shouldn’t You Feel Obligated to Invite?

Let’s say it louder for the couples in the back: You do not have to invite everyone
you know! In fact, destination weddings are an excellent opportunity to let people
down gently.

Here are a few people it’s okay not to invite:
● Acquaintances or distant relatives you rarely speak to
● Work friends or office acquaintances (unless they’re true friends)
● Friends you’ve grown apart from
● Plus-ones for guests who don’t have long-term partners

If you do get questioned, a simple, kind response like:
“We’re keeping the guest list very small and intimate for travel reasons, but we so
appreciate your excitement and support!”
—goes a long way.

How to Handle an Adult-Only

Destination weddings are the perfect excuse to host an adults-only
celebration—after all, they’re typically more travel-intensive and may include
evening events, excursions, or cocktail hours that aren’t kid-friendly.
If you want an adults-only wedding, the key is being clear and gracious:
On your invites or wedding website, include language like:
“We love your little ones, but this celebration will be adults-only so
everyone can fully relax and enjoy.”
Or:
“Due to the nature of our destination wedding, we’re keeping the event
adults-only. Thank you for understanding!”
You can also offer help by including links to local childcare options or offering
suggestions for guests traveling with kids.

The Big Question: Who Pays for Flights?

This is one of the most common questions couples planning a destination wedding
hear:
Are we supposed to pay for our guests’ travel?

Here’s the short answer: NO.

Typically, guests pay for their own flights, accommodations, and travel costs for a
destination wedding. You’re hosting the event, but you’re not expected to foot the bill
for your guests’ vacations. That said, there are ways to make things easier:
● Work with a destination wedding travel specialist who can help secure
discounted group rates on rooms and airfare.
● Clearly communicate costs early on via your save-the-date or wedding
website.
● Offer options: Choose a resort or destination with a variety of room choices,
allowing guests to select the one that best suits their budget.
● Consider flight costs: Before you lock in your destination, take a moment to
research average round-trip flight costs. This can make a big difference in the
total expense your guests will incur, and helps you choose a location that’s
both dreamy and doable for everyone on your guest list.

If someone declines because of cost, it’s important to be understanding. A gracious
response might be:

“We completely understand—travel isn’t always possible, and we’ll be
celebrating with you when we get home!”

What About Bridal Party Expenses?

If you’re asking friends to be in your wedding party, they’ll likely be paying for their
flights and accommodations as well. To soften the blow, many couples choose to
cover:

● The cost of hair and makeup
● A welcome dinner or special group outing
● Their wedding day attire (or offer to subsidize)
This gesture shows your appreciation and helps balance out their investment.

Additional Guest List Tips

● Send Save-the-Dates Early: Aim for 9–12 months in advance so guests can
budget and plan their PTO.
● Have a “B List”: If someone declines, you can extend an invitation to someone
else without awkwardness.
● Use Your Wedding Website: Include FAQs about travel costs, dress codes,
weather, and any kid-free policies.

Secure Your Date And Venue as Early As Possible:

No matter who you end up inviting on your final guest list, the more time you
give your guests to plan and prepare for your destination wedding, the better.
If you work with a destination wedding travel agent, you can get payment
plans for your guests, which will allow them to have more financial flexibility.
The longer you give people to plan and pay, the more people who will attend
your destination wedding!

Learn More: How Far in Advance Should You Plan Your Destination
Wedding?

See my Blog post on “Timeline to a destination wedding”

Curating your guest list for a destination wedding can feel tricky, but it’s also an
opportunity to make your day even more meaningful. Say yes to celebrating with your
closest people, be transparent with expectations, and lean on professional guidance to
help you navigate the details with ease.

Ready to plan a destination wedding that’s easy, beautiful, and full of perks?
Knowing that your guests’ travel and logistics are being handled behind the scenes
while you enjoy getting ready for your wedding?

Let’s chat! Schedule a complimentary consultation today—no pressure, just expert
guidance.

Planning a Destination Wedding?

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